


winter

by andromedagalaxy



Series: Philkas College Verse [37]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 17:42:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11605644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andromedagalaxy/pseuds/andromedagalaxy
Summary: Little moments in the winter of Lukas and Philip's sophomore year at NYU.





	winter

“I’m freezing.”

Lukas nudges closer to him, his hands still stuffed into his own pockets.

Philip looks up at him, his teeth chattering. They watch the line moving slowly. They’re waiting for their favorite hot chocolate in the city, at this little pop-up shop that only comes around during the winter. The cold is beyond what they were expecting today, and Philip isn’t nearly prepared enough.

Philip pouts, his teeth chattering. 

“Think of the giant marshmallow,” Lukas says, wrapping an arm around him and squeezing his shoulder. “Think about how hot that chocolate is gonna be.”

“Hopefully really…really hot,” Philip says. 

Lukas frowns down at him. He makes a split second decision and draws his arm back, positioning himself behind him. He opens up his own jacket, presses up against Philip, stretching the jacket out around him and zipping it up over Philip’s chest so it’s tight around the both of them.

Philip laughs, a gorgeous, joyful sound, tipping his head back a little bit when Lukas rubs his arms up and down through the material of the jacket.

“Thought this thing might be big enough for the both of us,” Lukas says, the two of them taking little baby steps forward. He tries to press up as close to Philip as he can, the cold seeping off him. “A two-headed monster.”

“We gonna walk like this all the way home?” Philip asks.

“Yes,” Lukas says, feeling Philip cross his arms under the jacket and pull it a little tighter. 

“I need my hands to drink the hot chocolate,” Philip says, grinning.

“I’ll hold it up to your mouth,” Lukas says. “We can do everything like this. Go to class. Ride the subway. Eat, sleep.”

“You’d miss my face,” Philip says.

“Mmm, that’s true.”

\------------

Helen keeps ducking her hand under the table and Lukas snorts, covering his mouth. Gabe looks up and back and forth at the two of them.

“Are you feeding Izzy my turkey?” Gabe asks, fighting back a smile.

“She deserves it,” Helen says. “She’s the best girl.”

Philip beams at Lukas. 

“Yeah, we taught her ourselves,” Lukas says. “Everything she knows she got from us.”

“Knows how to eat off the ground pretty good,” Dad says. 

Lukas glares but everyone else laughs, Gabe coughing around a biscuit. “Nice, Dad,” Lukas says. “I’ll have you know I cooked Philip a very nice dinner last week. Tell ‘em, Philip.”

“It was pretty good,” Philip says, nodding. “Shrimp tacos, and he only screamed three times while he was cooking—”

“Alright,” Lukas says, reaching out and brushing Philip’s hair from his forehead. “That’s not—that’s not part of it. The end result was awesome, he was so happy and I didn’t eat any of it.”

“Yeah, because you were sampling the whole time you were cooking,” Philip says, smiling.

“I do the same thing, Lukas,” Gabe says. “Can’t blame you. I had half my Thanksgiving dinner at the kitchen counter.”

“No wonder the portions are so small,” Helen says, shaking her head down at her plate.

“Your portions are small because you’re busy feeding the dog,” Gabe says, widening his eyes at her. 

They all laugh and Lukas feels a warmth spreading through his chest. He can feel Izzy’s tail wagging back and forth between his feet and he takes a sip of his water. He’s so happy he thinks he might burst. 

“Driving lessons going good, Philip?” Dad asks. 

“Yeah,” Philip says, looking up at him. “I’ll probably take the test in January and then never get behind the wheel of a car again.”

“We could lease you something,” Helen says, looking up at him. 

Philip shakes his head. “It’s pointless to have a car in the city,” he says. “Half the time Lukas has to haul his bike up into the apartment because he can’t find a space.”

“Upper arm strength,” Lukas says, patting his arms. 

Dad snorts, shaking his head at him. “Oh, that reminds me,” he says. “Philip, I found all those pictures of Lukas you were asking for.”

Lukas narrows his eyes.

“Oh great,” Philip says, grinning. “You think I can make copies?”

“You can take the originals with you, bring ‘em back to me at Christmas,” Dad says.

“Uh, what are we referring to?” Lukas asks.

“Got some childhood pictures of you coming my way, baby,” Philip says, smacking him in the knee. 

Lukas is a myriad of emotions but the most prominent ones are a sort of delight that Philip and his dad are talking on their own, and a slight unease at the idea of Philip seeing any pictures of him as a kid. “Dad?” he asks. “You pulling out embarrassing photos?”

“No, Lukas, they’re cute,” Helen says.

Lukas’s heart leaps. “You saw them?” he half-shouts.

“We both did,” Gabe says.

Lukas dips his head into his hand. “Oh my God.”

Philip giggles beside him, rubbing his arm back and forth. 

\------------

Lukas grinds down against Philip, kissing at his neck and wringing out a moan. Izzy is sleeping under the Christmas tree and the lights are blinking red and green on Philip’s face. He’s got a little bruise on his forehead from when he fell on the ice two days ago and Lukas leans in, brushing his lips over it.

Philip’s eyebrows furrow and he makes the smallest little noise, a noise that swirls in Lukas’s gut. “You kissing it better?” Philip asks, his voice a little raspy.

“Mmhm.” Lukas kisses the spot again, feather light, and Philip arches up into him. “That shit scared me. You fell right out of my arms.”

“Slippery,” Philip says, with a sigh. “Mmm, I think I—I think I have another bruise right here.” He points at a spot high on his cheekbone.

Lukas squints at Philip’s skin, hand braced at the crook of his neck. The lights on the tree are on a timer and they’re blinking faster now, a flash of red landing on Philip’s eyelid every few seconds. “Where?” he asks. He’d held Philip’s face in his hands for a good ten minutes after it happened and doesn’t remember a second bruise forming.

Philip points at his cheek with a little more purpose. “No, I really feel it—I think you need to kiss there, too.”

Lukas stares at him and realization hits him. He’s starting to get it. “Oh yeah?” he asks. “Lemme see.”

He presses his lips tenderly to the spot, once, twice and then again. He brushes his nose there, breathing him in. He’s been smelling a little bit like mint lately because of his shampoo, and Lukas really likes it. “That feel better?”

Philip nods, slowly. “It hurts somewhere else too,” he whispers, slowly glancing up to meet Lukas’s eyes. 

Lukas moves his body back and forth a little bit, watching Philip suck in a breath. “Show me,” Lukas says. 

Philip’s finger moves until he’s pointing at his mouth. 

Lukas vaguely hears people caroling outside, their TV playing a black and white Christmas movie on low volume. But it all fades away in a rush of color as he looks down at Philip, in all his vibrant sunlight. Like he’s stolen the brightness out of every day to spread on his own, and he chooses to share it with Lukas. “Right there?” Lukas asks.

Philip nods, tipping his chin up. Lukas doesn’t waste another moment and their mouths slide together when he kisses him, licking along Philip’s lower lip and tasting the sweetness of him. He tries to pour every intention into his kisses, words that come out in a stutter or don’t come out at all. Philip makes more little broken noises, clinging to Lukas’s back, and Lukas knows he’s conveying everything he wants to convey. 

\------------

“Are they drunk?”

“They look drunk. They’re swaying—yeah—drunk.”

“They’re underage—I’m arresting myself.”

“As your deputy I’m arresting you.”

Everything is shimmering and wavy at the edges of Lukas’s vision and he giggles, hoisting Philip up a little higher in his arms. Philip laughs, turning his face into Lukas’s neck. 

“I have no idea where they are,” Lukas whispers into Philip’s ear. “I like, I hear them, but I just—I have no idea.”

Philip twists Lukas’s shirt in his fists. “Lukas—I don’t even—I don’t even know where we are.”

“Do you hear them? Jesus—you’re on the porch!”

Philip straightens up and looks Lukas in the eye. “Was that Helen?”

Lukas hears laughter coming from wherever the voices are coming from. 

“I hope you two don’t get drunk like this in the city.”

Philip leans in and presses his entire mouth to Lukas’s ear. “Don’t tell them,” he says, and the words reverberate through Lukas’s body. 

“Secrets,” Lukas whispers. “Secrets—I—I have—” Words flutter through the air, words that he’s been keeping close to his chest. He’s ready to explode. He hates waiting. He needs to make his plans and just do it already, just not care about what anybody says. Everyone says they’re adults when they want them to act a certain way but then they’re children when they want to make their decisions for them.

Lukas wants to ask Philip to marry him. Right now. Right the hell now despite what anybody says about it. 

“How many—how many more til the New Year?” he asks.

“How many more what?” Philip asks, stumbling forward a little bit.

Lukas closes his arms around him and holds him tight, his heart lurching. “Baby don’t fall,” he says. 

“I got it,” Philip says, hands clawing at Lukas’s back. It reminds Lukas of sex. Reminds him of how last night they were trying to be as quiet as they could be because they’re staying at Helen and Gabe’s and Izzy was in the room. “How many what?” Philip asks. 

“Minutes,” Lukas says. 

“Three minutes,” a voice says, and it sounds like his dad. 

“Dad?” Lukas asks, looking around. 

“I’m in the yard playing with the dog,” his dad’s voice says. 

“I love you!” Lukas yells, trying to look off into the dark. “Dad!”

He hears his dad’s laugh and he laughs back. “I love you too, Lukas,” his dad says.

Lukas looks down at Philip and grins. 

“Aww,” Philip says, his eyes shining. “Sweet. You’re so sweet. And you’ve got the best face.” He reaches up, tracing his fingers down Lukas’s cheek. “Eyelids. Eyelashes. Just—Jesus. What the hell.”

Lukas smiles, leaning into his hands. “Why did we come outside?” he asks. “Why are we on the porch?”

“You wanted—wanted to look at the stars and see the stars as the New Year comes in—the stars.” Philip clears his throat and kisses Lukas’s cheek. “Mmm, baby.”

“C’mere,” Lukas says, wrapping his arms around Philip’s middle and pulling him against him. He buries his face in Philip’s shoulder and thinks about asking him to marry him. It’s on the tip of his tongue but he has plans. He has a whole idea of what he wants to do and he needs his notebook. He sighs, pulling the collar of Philip’s shirt back so he can kiss his neck.

“Boys—New Year then you’re going to bed—I don’t care how old you are, you’re still kids to us—”

Lukas doesn’t know whose voice it is but he rolls his eyes. 

“Ten—nine—”

Philip eases back so they’re gazing at each other. “You are—just like, my favorite.”

“You’re my favorite too.”

“—eight—seven—”

Lukas sneaks his fingers underneath the hem of Philip’s shirt and presses his thumbs into the dimples in his back. “I’m so glad I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with you,” Lukas says.

“—six—five—”

“Me too,” Philip says. “I love you so much.”

“—four—three—”

“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in my entire life.”

“—two—one—”

Lukas pulls Philip in to kiss him just as the voices start cheering and he hears someone call his Dad’s name and it kinda sounds like Tony but he doesn’t want to be thinking about Tony when he’s kissing Philip so he just kisses him harder, slipping his tongue into his mouth. He hears crackling in the distance and Izzy starts barking, farther away for a moment and then louder as footsteps approach, and for a second Lukas thinks Izzy has human feet but then he realizes his dad is probably carrying her and he focuses on kissing Philip again. He focuses on the feel of his lips and how he’s gonna get to kiss him into the new year every year for the rest of their lives.

“Happy New Year,” Lukas whispers, when they break apart. 

“Happy—wait,” Philip says, his brows furrowing. “You’ve got secrets.”

“Yeah they’re about you marrying me,” Lukas asks, the music from inside drifting into his ears. 

“What—what about it?” Philip asks. 

Lukas sways towards him and traces his eyes over Philip’s fucking ethereal face. The sober part of himself, deep in his mind, yells to keep his goddamn secrets to himself. But the drunk part of himself is in charge and the secrets are on the tip of his tongue. He’s in another war with himself but this one is all about loving Philip. Not being afraid of loving him. 

“I’ve—I’ve seen the future,” Lukas says, fast. “And like, you really love being married to me.”

Philip stares at him for a second and breaks into a grin. 

“Okay,” Helen says, because she’s there all of a sudden. “You two are gonna go sleep this off while I openly regret letting you drink to begin with.”

Lukas twists around to face her, frowning. “We are adults, Helen.”

“Underage adults, Lukas,” Helen says. 

“Where’s Izzy?” Philip asks, as the two of them are being led inside. 

“I’ve got her,” Dad’s voice says, from somewhere. “She’s with her grandpas.”

Philip slips away from Lukas a little bit as they get inside the house, and Lukas’s heart lurches. 

“Hey,” Lukas says, reaching out for him. “Hey, Philip, don’t go away—”

“He’s right here,” Helen says. She reaches out and puts Philip’s hand in Lukas’s own. “Izzy is gonna sleep in our room tonight.”

“Don’t try to steal her,” Philip says, accusingly. 

“We’d never,” Gabe says.

“Oh, babe,” Lukas says, the two of them walking down the hall towards the bedroom on their own. “We’ll be alone, we can have sex.”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Tony says, from somewhere behind them.

Philip giggles, squeezing Lukas’s hand. 

Everything is hazy all around them. Philip is the only thing Lukas can see. The only thing he wants to see. Forever and ever, always. He smiles, and keeps his secrets to himself. For now.


End file.
